Roll With The Flow (Otherwise Known as Letting Go)
As I write this, I’m working on a project that I’m particularly excited about. So I’m anxious – in a very positive way. I want to complete the groundwork as fast as possible, so that I can get it out into the world, so others can benefit.
For those of us entrepreneurs who love what we do in this way, and want to expand our influence and our ability to be of service, our work is our play. There’s no such thing as a “weekend off.” We maintain balance in our lives by scheduling “non-work” activities into our lives as we wish, or around other people’s schedules. But not by “conventional” work weeks.
So, like today (a Saturday), it’s not uncommon for me to schedule “business” meetings with people for whom time on Saturday is more available than time elsewhere in their weekly schedule.
But today, two of the three people with whom I’d scheduled meetings, cancelled. Actually, they asked to postpone our meeting and reschedule for later.Which means hoping that they can find time in their already busy schedule to meet as soon as possible on a weekday this week, or having to wait another week till next Saturday.
Which became the catalyst for this article / post about “letting go” and “rolling with the flow.”
I can easily remember when such incidents would raise my ire, based upon and related to all of the judgments I would place on the other person (”out of integrity,” “inconsiderate”). And the judgments I would place upon myself: I would feel “disrespected” and “inconvenienced.”
The intriguing thing about all of those judgments and feelings is that it’s easy to feel “justified” having them. OF COURSE s/he was inconsiderate! Doesn’t s/he know how this affects EVERYTHING! How could s/he waste my time this way? It’s his/her fault now that the project is going to be delayed!
Fortunately, that kind of thinking, and that way of being, is in my past. “Fortunately,” because I didn’t enjoy it. It was just a pattern that I had learned from my parents and from others. It was a pattern that didn’t serve me, or the people with whom I interacted.
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Gerald Jampolsky wrote a seminal book that had a great influence on me, titled “Love is Letting Go of Fear.” In it, he condenses the most basic teachings of the “Course in Miracles” to the simple axiom that on two ends of a spectrum are “love” and “fear,” and at any moment we’re experiencing our life somewhere along that continuum – sometimes closer to love, and other times closer to fear.
And while it’s all well and good to know about that continuum, what’s especially exciting to me is its corollary:
To the degree that you’re experiencing FEAR in any moment, your expression will be that you will REACT in the same proportion. To the degree that you are experiencing LOVE in any moment, your expression will be that you’ll RESPOND in the same proportion.
I love that model: Fear = React / Love = Respond.
Knowing this, I can more easily be aware of my own, and others’, state of being, based on what I observe.
Am I / are they reacting? There’s fear involved. How can I address and allay it for myself, or for them, so that we can move forward in a more loving context?
Am I / are they responding? There’s love present. How can I acknowledge and expand it, for me and for them?
So instead of reacting to unanticipated changes – such as two meeting cancellations on a Saturday – I’ve learned to simply accept that the world doesn’t always work exactly and only in the way that I think it “should.” Instead of getting angry – or in some cases, instead of getting and then staying angry – I’ve learned that it’s easier, and more enjoyable, to “make lemonade” when life presents “lemons.”
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Indeed, one of the most valuable qualities that I’m developing is my ability to “roll with the flow.”
Letting go of any preconceived notions about what’s “supposed” to happen.
Not allowing what happens that I didn’t anticipate – or what happens that’s different than what I planned – to rile me and throw me off so much that I can’t adjust quickly enough – or can’t adjust at all.
Being as fully present in each moment as possible, so I’m best able to respond instead of react.
Just like most other things, learning this meant constantly practicing it, first with a great deal of conscious effort, until it became my more “natural” way of being. Just like most other things, it took time to master it – and I’m still not sure that I have, but life is a lot more easy, and a lot more fun, with this orientation.
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One of my favorite coaching statements to clients is: YOU CAN DO THIS!
And so I offer my encouragement to you.
You can do this!
You can diminish how much anger you feel and how much judgment you place on yourself, on others, on “circumstances.”
You can let go of your fears and connect with your loving.
You can become not unaffected by, but not constantly thrown off guard by the unexpected.
You can turn lemons into lemonade.
You can let go.
You can roll with the flow.
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Jay Aaron
Strategic Visionary / Visionary Strategist
JayAaron.com
All Contents International Copyright 2009 Jay Aaron. All International Rights Reserved.
The Author grants reprint permission without further inquiry only to those who provide proper Copyright credit and include a link to http://Jay Aaron.com
Tags: Attitudinal Healing, Gerald Jampolsky, Jay Aaron, Jerry Jampolsky, Letting Go, Love is Letting Go of Fear, Personal Success, Professional Success, Success Actions, Success Principles, Success Qualities
